Memories Light the Corners of My Mind

 

Randy, Aunt Lorene and Kathy - August 2, 2025

A wedding reveals promises made while a funeral recounts promises kept. Yet, even though they're different on the surface, they both underscore the significance of commitment.

-- Anonymous 

 

A common saying is that weddings and funerals are the two occasions that bring families together, especially extended families who may not see each other often. These events, one celebrating new beginnings and the other marking the end of a life, create opportunities for family members to connect, share memories, and offer support.

 

  

Last weekend, we traveled to Houston for the memorial service of Gary Servos. Gary was married to Randy's Aunt Lorene. Lorene is Randy's mom, Marie's, younger sister. Randy's sister, Kathy, and her husband, Dave, and their two daughters - Amanda and Emily - also made the trip to Texas. We were glad to be the Kansas contingent. 

 

Weddings and funerals certainly weren't the only time we've gotten together with Randy's Texas-based family. But, there's usually a reason that familiar sayings work themselves into our collective consciousness. These life-marking events do seem to bring people together.

 

Garrick, Kathy, Gregory, Stacia and Randy

 

It gave Randy and Kathy an opportunity to reconnect with some of their first cousins. A side note: I blame my finger on the photo on my continuing less-than-perfect eyesight following cataract/glaucoma surgery. I never do that (though my Grandma Neelly was known for it, which I suppose, qualifies as another family memory).

 

As the slide show featuring highlights of Gary's life clicked by - frame after frame - I snapped photos of Gary and Lorene's wedding. Sixteen years ago, they arrived in Stafford, Kansas, for Jill's and Eric's wedding. On that hot August day, they remembered their own wedding day 50 years before at the Stafford United Methodist Church. I sent the photos to Jill and Eric, noting that the vintage photos were reminiscent of the ones taken at their own wedding.

 

Gary and Lorene's family all came to that 2009 wedding, and Gary and Lorene once again stood at the front of the church for a photo - 50 years after they'd celebrated their own union.  

So, I guess there is something to that "weddings and funerals" sentiment.

 

Jill and Eric on those same church steps as Gary and Lorene had come down.

 

Lorene remembered that their August wedding was hot - inside and out. Thankfully, the church had since been outfitted with air conditioning, though it struggled to keep the hot August weather at bay. She mentioned it again on Saturday. 

 

We didn't extend our time in Houston this time. (Back to that whole eyesight thing: It isn't conducive to sight-seeing at the moment since "seeing" is part of the root of the word.)

 

But we divided our trip both to and from into two days. On our return trip home, we finally succumbed to the billboards that dot I-135 from Oklahoma City to Dallas/Fort Worth. We've driven by those billboards for the Arbuckle Wilderness several times - whether on our way to K-State ballgames in Texas, trips to see family and vacations in Galveston at the Servos' beach house. 

 

So, yes: This time, we were the suckers who fell for the tourist trap. We pulled off the highway at Turner Falls and toured the Arbuckle Wilderness. 

 

We had a lady attempt to take our photo at the gate. But when I checked them as we left, I found that there were no photos of us at all. I hope my attempts for her family were better, but I guess we'll never know. I made Randy go back, and I snapped a few of just him. 

We did have several creatures who were glad to see us.

It took some of them awhile to realize that the open window was on Randy's side - not mine. 

We hope they'll use part of the admission price to improve the roads through the "wilderness." 

 

But I guess these are the moments in which memories are made, right?

 

 

4-H: A Family Affair

 

Randy in 1967, a 5th grader and his first year in Stafford County 4-H with his first 4-H beef project.

 4-H is "very fun." Just look at any beginning 4-Her's permanent record book.

Randy's record book from his first year as a Stafford County 4-Her in 1967 said:

This year is my first year in 4-H. I have enjoyed it very much. Going to the 4-H things has been very fun. I really enjoyed the refreshments very much. I am looking forward very much to next year in 4-H. This year, I have enjoyed 4-H camp and have got lots of ribbons. 

My first 4-H story was also written in 1967, as a fourth grader. (The photo at the left was the one attached to my 4-H permanent record.) My story was longer. (There's a big surprise, right?) I used the word "fun" six times to describe my song leading job, picking out ingredients for my Snacks and Little Lunches project, 4-H Sunday and assorted other 4-H events. I also "enjoyed" things twice and "liked" 4-H another time or two. A glance at Jill's and Brent's record books mirrored our family's outlook that 4-H is "fun" and very likeable.

4-Hers - and their parents - have been "liking" the youth program for more than 100 years, long before there was a "like" button on Facebook pages. On Saturday, we went to the Shawnee County Fair in Topeka to see Kinley's and Brooke's 4-H projects. Kinley and Brooke come from a long line of 4-Hers, including their maternal great-grandparents and their paternal great-grandmother (Bonnie Ladd). 

 

Bob & Janis Moore - Pratt County Fair service award recipients

 in 2011

 

My family's involvement with 4-H started with my parents back in the 1940s. Both were members of the Lincoln Bluebirds 4-H Club in Pratt County, the club that my siblings and I later joined. (That club later merged with another, and we became the Lincoln Climbers.) 

 

Eric's family is similarly entrenched in the 4-H program. These days, Eric is one of the community leaders for the Auburn 4-H Club in Shawnee County. 

 

Participating in county fairs is second nature to all of us - including Kinley and Brooke. This year's fair for the girls wrapped up on Sunday. They had a great fair, though it was a little different this year. Kinley left for camp the day after consultation judging for most projects, so she was unable to compete in the dog show with Summer. 

 

But the girls definitely excelled in the foods division. They swept the champion ribbons in the intermediate division for decorated cookies or cupcakes. 

 

Kinley's cupcakes decorated with succulents won the champion ribbon in that division. (I know I'm looking at them with "grandma glasses," but I think they look professional.)

And her sister got the reserve champion ribbon with her cookies decorated to look like bakery treats.

However, in the specialty yeast bread category, Brooke edged out Kinley with her savory pull-apart bread. She earned Top Yeast Bread.

Kinley's savory sundried tomato and herb bread got a reserve champion ribbon. 

 

 

Both the girls got to sell their bread at a premium auction on Sunday. We arrived in Topeka in time to watch Brooke remake her pull-apart bread for the sale. 

 

 

 

 

Brooke handled display duties for herself and her sister at the food sale.

 

 

They also had blues on their iced layer cakes. They looked like purples to this grandma - at least from the outside.

Kinley's Snickerdoodle Cake

Brooke's Strawberry Cake

We got to sample a "reject" strawberry cake, and it was delicious. Kinley's three-layer cake didn't require a re-do, so we'll hope for another opportunity to taste it down the line. But the Ladds' say the earlier attempt was tasty. 

Brooke got a champion ribbon on the menagerie of sea creatures she created from air-dry clay and displayed in an aquarium.

Since Kinley couldn't compete in the dog show, she made a poster to complete her project and received a reserve champion ribbon.

Grandma was thoroughly impressed with her business notebook. 

She developed goals and advertising strategy for her small business, Kinley's Care and Co., in which she cares for pets and waters plants for neighbors. She also has a spreadsheet showing how she divides her earnings for a car fund, clothing and personal care items and savings. 

 

 

Kinley also had several purples for her photography project. One of them got a star, which means it was considered for a champion - but not this year. 

 

I really liked her selfie, which she took with a timer. It was representative of her first year competing in hurdles. Her favorite sport - tennis - also was the subject of one of the purples.

Both the girls competed in clothing buymanship. Brooke has been enrolled in that project for her whole 4-H career, but this was Kinley's first year. 

 

Our final event of the 2025 was watching Brooke model her two outfits during the style show.

Kinley was at camp, but she was a champion with her dressy outfit in the intermediate division and has the opportunity to model during the Kansas State Fair fashion review in September.

 

Photo taken by Gina Marie Photography, Topeka, during a family photo session

  

Old 4-Hers can be called into duty at any time. Grandma Christy and I helped Brooke and Jill with the concession stand Saturday afternoon. One of the times assigned to the Auburn 4-H Club was during the kids' pedal pull, so helpers were hard to find for awhile. Christy and I are old pros when it comes to helping with a fair food stand. Back in the day, we Pratt County 4-Hers served up sloppy joes. I still use that recipe when I need a roaster of sloppy joes today. 

Photo credit (and working credit, too) to Christy Ladd

Jill worked in the food stand at the Stafford County Fair. So we had three generations of 4-Hers helping in that time-honored fundraiser. 
 

 

Brooke's favorite part is serving the food. But we also had a little bit of time to work on the fine art of counting back change. 

 

And while it's great to collect those purple ribbons and extra prize money, I hope what the girls ultimately collect from the 4-H experience is to take the 4-H pledge and the 4-H experience to heart.   

 

 I pledge my head to clearer thinking 

 My heart to greater loyalty

 My hands to larger service

 And my health to better living

 For my club, my community, my country and my world.

 The 4-H Pledge, Written in 1919 by Kansas 4-H Leader Otis Hall

 

It would probably be a better world if all of humanity would think about the principles that 4-Hers vow to uphold: Clearer thinking, greater loyalty, larger service, better living ... those are all attributes that would do this old world a whole lot of good.

For 123 years, 4-H has been changing lives. Back in 2006, we celebrated 100 years of Kansas 4-H. The youth program has been part of the national landscape since 1902.

The 4-H website says:

The 4-H idea is simple: help young people and their families gain the skills they need to be proactive forces in their communities and develop ideas for a more innovative economy. That idea was the catalyst to begin the 4-H movement and those values continue today.

 

No wonder it's stuck around this long.  

The Eye of the Beholder: Stafford County Fair

This was probably my favorite photo from our trip to Glacier National Park last year. I know that's a bold statement. But I loved the contrast of the bright and colorful fiberglass kayaks against the moody, overcast sky of Two Medicine Lake. Jill and Susan loved it, too. However, I liked a lot of the photos I took from our nation's breathtaking National Parks. Case in point: I filled a whole book with photos from that trip.

However, the judge at the Stafford County Fair last week had a different one he/she preferred. (I'm going to go with "they" because I don't know whether they were male or female). I got a white - or third in the class - with the photo of the bright kayaks. 

But they gave me Reserve Grand Champion on this black-and-white version of a photo I took at Jenny Lake at the Grand Teton National Park. 

Don't get me wrong: I like this one, too. I also like the color version, which I also entered. So did the judge. I got a blue on it, too. 

 

But it does demonstrate how "judging" and "subjective" should be in the same sentence. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's never more true than when you enter photos in a county fair.

As always, I entered a bunch of photos in the open class division of the Stafford County Fair last week. I've admitted here before: It's not a money-making proposition. In fact, I'm confident I lose money by the time I pay for enlargements and mat boards. (Not that he ever complains, but I tell Randy that my hobby is cheaper than his hobby, so I still come out ahead).

I felt like I had fewer to choose from this year. But, as I analyzed that feeling, I came to the conclusion that I usually feel that way. Admittedly, I have fewer photos for the "agriculture" category. But our travels gave me more "scenic" and "nature" photos than I could use.

 

This blue ribbon winner was from Crystal Bridges in Bentonville, Ark.

This black-and-white print was also from Two Medicine Lake, showing the fast-moving, low clouds that were the backdrop for our morning there. It, too, got a blue.

So did this photo I took of the Big Boy steam locomotive during its stop in Salina last fall.

 I didn't have to travel quite as far to get this blue-ribbon winner - looking through a kaleidoscope at the Vernon Filley Art Museum in Pratt. 

But a couple of my blue-ribbon winners were taken in my own yard - literally.

I got a blue on the book I made for Randy after our Eureka Springs/Bentonville trip:

 

And I got second place on my National Parks book. (Again, I would have flipped the ribbons, but what do I know?) 

As I've said many times before, I don't enter at the fair for the ribbons or the premium money. But entering in the fair helps keep this rural American tradition alive. Sure, it's fun to see how your artistic eye stacks up against your neighbors. But it's even better to have a place to wander around and reconnect with people from across the county who you don't see on a weekly basis. You can't beat that! I've been doing that since I was a 4-Her in Pratt County several decades ago. 

Two of the photos I really liked didn't get a ribbon at all. I should learn my lesson: My bird photos and sunrise/sunset photos - or, I guess, Northern Lights ones - never fare well. 

I know how much time and effort - and unusable clicks of the camera - went into getting this shot of our backyard visitor. And it's not every day that you can see the Northern Lights without leaving home.  

I wasn't the only photographer in the family this year. Kinley will find out what color ribbons she'll get on her 4-H photography this week at the Shawnee County Fair in Topeka. We've worked together on that project for the past three years, but this year, she didn't need much help. I brought the needed supplies to Topeka to get the photos mounted, but she took the photos and mounted them herself. I guess that's the goal as a mentor: You're supposed to work yourself out of a job. 

I have not yet worked myself out of the 4-H foods superintendent job. Last year was my 30th year working with 4-H foods, many of them as superintendent. That volunteer job is more important than any ribbons I accumulate, I hope.

I wasn't the only family competitor at the Stafford County Fair this year. Randy entered garden produce and got a red on his pears and a blue for his longest zucchini. 

Really, we've both been winners with his work in the garden this summer. Well, for everything except tomatoes. Those have been a bust. We always joke when we go through the checkout at the garden store each spring whether the investment in vegetable seedlings will pay off. That remains to be seen, I guess. But garden-fresh produce is always a win.