A Heart-Shaped Box of Memories

When I was a child, a heart-shaped box of candy marked our place at the breakfast table each Valentine's Day, courtesy of my mom. 

So, when I was looking for Valentine's gifts for Kinley and Brooke, I couldn't resist adding a miniature heart-shaped box of chocolates to their bag - even though I knew it wouldn't be their favorite treat. And I told them that Grandma Moore always made the day special with that little box of chocolates. (They got some other things in their Valentine's sacks from me besides a history lesson.)

Eric's mom, Christy, says their family also had that tradition, though her dad was the Valentine candy buyer. The children got the miniature boxes and her mom got a larger assorted heart box. 

Those little boxes held more than confections. The outside of each candy didn't usually reveal the flavor contents of each confection. There's a lesson there, too - how we shouldn't judge what's on the inside just by looking at outside appearances.

When we were in Topeka earlier this month, I went along for the ride as Brooke chose the Valentines she would give her classmates. She chose purple Skittles, which didn't even exist back in my grade-school days. 

Some of the Valentine's from Jill & Brent's era

Back in the 1960s, our Valentines were usually of the paper variety. Once in awhile, a classmate would include a heart-shaped hard sucker, but that was a rarity, not the norm. 

(I'm second from the left, and it appears I'm wearing the red tights!. From left: Jeff Berry, Kim Moore, Carol Beberstine, Lorraine Frisbie, Eugene Stotts)

One thing that hasn't changed is the universal teachers' edict that everyone in the class receive a Valentine. Maybe your friend and you had a spat the day before and you were not feeling too loving. Or maybe you'd prefer not to give that annoying boy a "sweet" message. Even if "that boy" teased me unmercifully about my weight or my hair or my green tights, I was supposed to put a Valentine in his box. (I must admit that I would find the least sappy Valentine from the box I'd carefully selected from the dimestore at Pratt. I would adhere to the rules, but I didn't have to give him the best Valentine.)

But equal opportunity Valentine distribution was a requirement - then and now.

A few years ago on Valentine's Day, I recalled The New York Times bestselling book from 20-some years ago, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.  

I didn't learn a thing in kindergarten because Byers Grade School didn't have kindergarten. But that's not the point. In the book, author Robert Fulghum explains how the world would be a better place if adults adhered to the same basic rules as kindergarten-aged children, like sharing and being kind to one another. What a concept, right?!

As Robert Fulghum would say:

• Share everything.
• Play fair.
• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
• Be aware of wonder.
  
• Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Wouldn't the world be a better place if we would remember those principles? 

Happy Valentine's Day, all! 

For the record, today's Valentine's Day includes driving Randy to Hutchinson to get a root canal this morning. Then, we're off to Great Bend to see the accountant. Doesn't all that say romance?

 

Lessons from a Valentine Box

I feel a little like a Valentine's slacker. Last year, Kinley and Brooke were here at the farm shortly before Valentine's Day, and Kinley needed a Valentine box for school. I spent some time perusing the internet for ideas and finally settled on helping her construct a kitty box.

I declared success when one of her friends told her that she liked her "kitty." I'm not known for my crafting ability, so it was a proud Grandma moment when Jill reported the conversation!

A few weeks ago, I had the girls for the week, and I decided I'd take "Valentine's box" off Jill's already full "to-do" list. But I went an easier route this time. I bought a bunch of foam stickers at Hobby Lobby and let the girls peel and stick to their hearts' content on hot pink boxes I also took off the shelf at the craft store. (We also used the foam stickers to decorate foam frames.)

They both had a great time arranging the stickers on their boxes. The glittery stickers were Kinley's favorite. (I'm sure Jill and Eric found glitter on and under their kitchen table for days afterward, and Eric is not a lover of glitter.)

But mission accomplished: They were happy to show them off to Mommy and Daddy. (Jill had to do the hard part and supervise the painstaking writing of classmates' names this weekend. I would have done it, but they didn't have the Valentines or the classmate list at the time.)

Just like the "olden days," kids are supposed to give a Valentine to each member of their class.

At tiny Byers Grade School - my alma mater - Valentine's Day provided a lesson in how we'd all like to be treated: We had to give a Valentine to each classmate. No leaving out any pesky boy who teased me about my red tights.

(I'm second from the left, and it appears I'm wearing the red tights!)

Before Valentine's Day, we carefully cut out pink and red paper hearts and used our Elmer's Glue bottles to adhere them to shoeboxes. Mrs. Bond cut a slot in the top of the lid to make a Valentine's mailbox, which we perched on our desks. Other years, the teacher might give us a white paper sack, and we'd liberally decorate with crayon hearts and cutout cupids. We'd hang them with a piece of tape from the edge of our desks and wait anxiously for holiday greetings from our classmates. If we were lucky, someone might include a heart-shaped sucker along with the holiday card.

My Mom let each of us choose our box of Valentines from the store. I'm sure I very deliberately considered my options in an effort to choose just the right box. I also contemplated which Valentine to give to each classmate. That pesky boy needed a generic greeting, and I wanted to give just the right one to each of my female friends.

Each Valentine's Day, Jill and Brent chose their box of cards, too. A few are still in a box in the cabinet, and I use some each year for this and that. It's fun to look back and think about the choices they made at the time - a football theme for Brent or Barbies for Jill.  We had the same rule at our house. Every class member had to get a Valentine - no matter what.

 

And wouldn't the world be a better place if we treated each other with a little unconditional friendship? And not only on Valentine's Day, but every day.

Maybe Valentine's Day would be a good day to dust off the New York Times bestselling book from 20-some years ago, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.

In it, author Robert Fulghum explains how the world would be a better place if adults adhered to the same basic rules as kindergarten-aged children, like sharing and being kind to one another.

For the record, I didn't go to kindergarten. It wasn't an option at Byers Grade School. But the lessons are still valid - and maybe even more so in this contentious world. 
As Robert Fulghum would say:

• Share everything.
• Play fair.
• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
• Be aware of wonder.
• Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.