Out of the Shadows?

For the first time, my name was mentioned as a seller at the sale barn last week.
It's only taken 38 years.
It's about the best Valentine's present I could get.

It may seem like a silly thing to celebrate. But, if I'm honest, my exclusion in years' past has really stuck in my craw.

"Thank you, Randy and Kim," the sale barn manager said as the sale wrapped up and our feeder calves surged through the doors to be loaded out. I almost fell off my chair.

For the past several years (at least), my name has been included on the sheet we present to the sale barn. I know because I've typed it! It's an information sheet that says when the calves were weaned, what vaccinations they've received and how they've been cared for.

And, yet, each of those years, Randy's name was the only one mentioned as the seller on the day of the sale. And I was sitting right there, too!

I fully admit that I'm not as involved in the day-to-day care of the cattle as Randy. But I am definitely a partner in this enterprise.

October 2011

Later, I joked to Randy that I only had to have my life flash before my eyes during a 4-wheeler accident while moving cattle for me to actually get mentioned at the sale barn.

I know one didn't have a thing to do with the other.
It was just a joke, I quipped to my husband.
Maybe it was a joke?
But not really.
I said I was going to write about it.
He said I should.

 

I know that Randy values my partnership on the farm. But it seemed the surrounding ag world didn't necessarily see that value. I'm not getting a paycheck.

Therefore, my contribution must be negligible, even though I perform every task to the best of my ability - and, often, with better skills and less drama than extra helpers who are getting paid.

My mother-in-law Marie, Jean Newell Fritzemeyer & Marjorie Giedinghagen on a cattle working day back in the 1950s.

So, every year at the sale barn, as only Randy's name got mentioned, I thought, "This is no different than 50 years ago when my mother-in-law was Mrs. Melvin Fritzemeier and my mother was Mrs. Bob Moore."

From the kids' memory/history book from my Mom & Dad. Note the caption - the first tractor Janis drove doing field work.

And, for the record, I learned a lot about cleaning house and making meals because my mom was on a tractor when I was an elementary-aged kid. (See the photo above.) She's been a major part of the farm partnership for all their married lives - 65 years and counting!

 

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad to be Mrs. Randy Fritzemeier. But I also have my own identity and name separate from my husband.

Other women's names were mentioned as sellers at the February 7 sale, too. I asked Randy later, "Do you think someone else complained?" For the record, we didn't. But I still wondered what precipitated the change.

Just like other women in today's world, farm women come in all shapes and sizes. They are young and old and in between. Some work in the field alongside their husbands. Some keep the books. Some have dinner on the table at 12 noon without fail. Some load up the meal in the car and deliver it places that no Pizza Hut delivery guy could ever hope to find, even with GPS.

Taken while filling up a diesel tank at the Kanza Co-op, Zenith branch

Some work at off-farm jobs to help supplement farm income. I drove to Hutchinson to work for more years than I wanted early in our marriage, and I've had part-time employment of some sort for most of our married lives. All of those things have been essential to the success of the farm.

 

My friend and classmate, Diana Hemphill, got these at an auction and then gave them to me. Thanks, Diana!
 
And that doesn't count the hands-on work - cattle gathering and sorting, truck driver, chauffeur, go-fer, fertilizer deliverer, fuel retrieval, secretary and landlord correspondence, meal planning and execution ...and that just scratches the surface.

I did a Google search for "value of a farm wife." Honestly, I didn't find a lot. (That probably is telling in itself.) But a 20-year-old article in The Producer gave an annual value of $19,000, based on a Canadian judge's ruling after a farm wife's fatality accident on the farm. Even 20 years ago, Manitoba Women’s Institute past-president Barbara Stienwandt said it was too low. In the article, Carolyn Van Dine, president of the Canadian Farm Women’s Network, said her group was trying to make people realize how crucial farm women are.

“If you were to take farm women out of the agriculture business in Canada the impact would be huge. We’d lose an awful lot of farms.”

Winter sunrise at my sunrise tree

I don't want to leave the impression that I'm complaining ... at least, not too much. I know that I am truly blessed. My payments come in the form of having a beautiful place to live and work on the County Line. They come in having a front-row seat for the changing of the seasons and the splendor of God's handiwork - spring, summer, winter and fall. They come from a husband who invites me to grab my camera and come to the pasture to look at bluebirds. (Photos from that next week!) A quick phone call from Randy telling me that the sunrise or the sunset is worth a trip down the road is better than a dozen roses to me.

But getting a mention is still nice. Isn't it interesting how the smallest things can make a big difference? That's true on Valentine's Day, too.

Check out this little calf. I think it looks like he has a white heart on his chest. So there's my Valentine. Randy's Valentine from me will come in the form of a homemade blueberry pie today. Happy Valentine's Day to all of you, too! May you find joy in the small things, too!